u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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