Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
