The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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