we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I stole a fireplace last night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
