Jerry, you need to find god
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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