It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
