Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize