Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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