Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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