he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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