sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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