Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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