my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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