I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
