Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
How's work?
Spinning.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
