Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock

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  (360): I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock http://tfl.nu/cdtd
  Replies (29) Good night (861) Bad night (1347)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Yea well when i pee it makes steam.

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  (901): Yea well when i pee it makes steam. http://tfl.nu/1t52
  Replies (11) Good night (2450) Bad night (1040)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.

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  (775): Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/nqat
  Replies (26) Good night (3701) Bad night (602)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."

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  (303): maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..." http://tfl.nu/5h2o
  Replies (81) Good night (1008) Bad night (6585)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.

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  (416): She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic. http://tfl.nu/pwae
  Replies (10) Good night (3463) Bad night (1546)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Everything we own is covered in grass and KY

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  (586): Everything we own is covered in grass and KY http://tfl.nu/ze0f
  Replies (14) Good night (4472) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."

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  (404): He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on." http://tfl.nu/t6j5
  Replies (2) Good night (5109) Bad night (891)
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  (209): View more from California

  he laminated a picture of his dick.

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  (209): he laminated a picture of his dick. http://tfl.nu/x5jy
  Replies (16) Good night (2765) Bad night (1506)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone

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  (760): If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone http://tfl.nu/69r6
  Replies (20) Good night (8159) Bad night (1232)
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  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?

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  (867): Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting? http://tfl.nu/56t0
  Replies (2) Good night (2117) Bad night (1656)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"

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  (515): When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation" http://tfl.nu/vmn5
  Replies (10) Good night (3633) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...

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  (605): I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD... http://tfl.nu/4wif
  Replies (0) Good night (814) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma

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  (919): Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma http://tfl.nu/tsev
  Replies (1) Good night (931) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing

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  (716): while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing http://tfl.nu/6vwv
  Replies (2) Good night (788) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...

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  (778): She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there... http://tfl.nu/opdp
  Replies (1) Good night (218) Bad night (413)

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