Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication. http://tfl.nu/hfzx
  Replies (38) Good night (767) Bad night (2509)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring. http://tfl.nu/sgce
  Replies (18) Good night (1139) Bad night (3498)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila http://tfl.nu/e6je
  Replies (20) Good night (1009) Bad night (5790)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right. http://tfl.nu/nc3r
  Replies (14) Good night (4239) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown. http://tfl.nu/l3ul
  Replies (49) Good night (2374) Bad night (5419)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same http://tfl.nu/2qn4
  Replies (9) Good night (5151) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels? http://tfl.nu/vpae
  Replies (12) Good night (1264) Bad night (3988)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  just got booed by the entire restaurant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): just got booed by the entire restaurant. http://tfl.nu/m1gn
  Replies (10) Good night (990) Bad night (3932)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd. http://tfl.nu/h39y
  Replies (8) Good night (2365) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that. http://tfl.nu/0n60
  Replies (9) Good night (2965) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back. http://tfl.nu/es5h
  Replies (14) Good night (1640) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding? http://tfl.nu/hdxw
  Replies (4) Good night (1230) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER. http://tfl.nu/qydu
  Replies (2) Good night (767) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night. http://tfl.nu/5xwv
  Replies (5) Good night (639) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever. http://tfl.nu/1kf9
  Replies (12) Good night (1435) Bad night (420)

Randomize