Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.