does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
