smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro