I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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