Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.