U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
