i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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