I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize