Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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