he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
