Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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