Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
