im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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