I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
