He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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