His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
