i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
