At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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