I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
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A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
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I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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