Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
