508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
