I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
