he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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