Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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