how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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