She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
