I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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