The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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