Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
