She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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