On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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