so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
