I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
