They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
