I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
