So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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