he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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