absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have fence marks all over my body
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
