My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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