I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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