she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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