I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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