new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
