life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
