Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
