I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Randomize