So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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