Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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