after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
