playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
