so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
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Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
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Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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