I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the condom got lost in my hair
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
