I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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