i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
