We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You're like the curious george of whores
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
